radio wars

We spend a lot of time in the car, which means we spend a lot of time battling radio wars.

I like Mozart and Debussy. They like Drake and Ariana Grande. Sometimes they win (I never do), and sometimes we compromise on the contemporary Christian music station – upbeat music they like and lyrics that don’t make me feel like I’m poisoning their ears.

Recently we were flipping through stations and heard two songs almost back-to-back that were in stark contrast with each other. On one station we heard a song with a chorus that said:

“I’m a mess, I’m a loser / I’m a hater, I’m a user / I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t you,
I’m obsessed, I’m embarrassed, / I don’t trust no one around us /
I’m a mess for your love, it ain’t you.”*

This is the message my girls hear constantly from the world around them and from the echoes of their traumatic early childhoods, and unfortunately sometimes even from me, unintentionally, when my frustration spills out into harsh words. They have known more rejection, suffering, loss, pain, grief, and unfairness than most people can handle in a lifetime. They don’t need a song to tell them they aren’t worth loving – they feel that in their souls.

But when we changed stations, we heard:

“I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know.

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing / You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short / When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours

And I believe, oh I believe / What You say of me / I believe.” **

I need to hear those words every bit as much as they do. There is an enemy that seeks to destroy us, tearing down every fragile piece of who we think we are. But far more powerful is the lover of our souls – our Creator. The one who formed my lovely girls in their mothers’ wombs and bore the pain and suffering along with them as they grew. The one who has heard every lie whispered in my ears, who has felt the sting of every rejection. His voice sings to us in the beauty of creation, in the love of our friends, in the powerful words recorded in the Bible, in the incomprehensible sacrifice on the cross, in the Holy Spirit who whispers deep truths of worth and value to our broken souls.

When I fail…once again; when others make it evident I have little worth; when my own thoughts and feelings betray me; when the pressures of the world overwhelm me, this is what is true:

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17

Remember that today. Pick your soundtrack carefully. Listen to the song that tells you who you are in Christ. That is the truth.

*Bebe Rexha “I’m a Mess”     **Lauren Daigle  “You Say”