new name

Four little girls I know have been practicing their new names. They found out the caring people they’ve grown to love are going to adopt them. It’s surreal and confusing and a little over their heads, but they are happy. That lonesome, fearful pit in the bottom of their bellies is gone now. They’ve been given the freedom to stop worrying about grown-up problems and to become cared-for kids.

They are learning to spell their new last names and playing with their new initials. The oldest one writes her new name on her schoolwork and fiddles daily with what her middle name will be and whether or not that y should stay in her first name. But the last name is set. There is no doubt about that. A last name means belonging to a family. It means a whole new set of cultural norms, a heritage she can’t yet understand, and even a level of expectation from those who know the name.

We are living in transition. The ones who will have my name FEEL like mine already; I’ve written my name on their heart and theirs on mine, but I live with the knowledge that they are not yet legally my girls. The waiting is long and can be full of doubt…is it really going to happen? Is some long-lost relative going to show up to block the adoption? Will the paperwork get lost? Will something happen to us while we wait?

I feel the same weighty waiting as I long for my own new name. God has already written it on my heart and I am His, but it hasn’t been finalized yet. I am waiting for the fulfillment of the promise John wrote about in the letter to the church at Philadelphia: “All who are victorious will become pillars in the Temple of my God, and they will never have to leave it. And I will write on them the name of my God, and they will be citizens in the city of my God – the new Jerusalem that comes down from heaven from my God. And I will also write on them my new name.” Revelation 3:12

There’s a deep, deep longing built into the human heart for home. These little girls are going to move into their new homes and families and their hearts will be full. But even that joy won’t last. I am praying they will continue to be drawn to the One who wants to bring them home for eternity.